draining

I am so glad my trip is coming up. These past two weeks have been so frustrating and draining. Work has been so hard. For all of you who know me, I'm VERY laid back, that's just me. It's starting to feel like a problem with my job. I remember my favorite teacher in school was laid back but stern. That's how I feel I am. I am good at getting the information across, but let's have some fun as well. These past two weeks I haven't been able to be me until today. It's been so hectic with some of the attitudes we've been facing, but there are those students who come along and make life all better. I just feel like my personality is being pushed to the brink. Today another teacher and I got the whole school to have a draping relay race. It turned out to be 45 students running around the place just having laughs but competition at the same time. I was so proud to say I am at that school. But immediately following that, I was told I don't stress change enough or present change in the most positive way. Oh my, what do you want me to do! I felt like my great success with the relay race was diminished and they don't recognize the progress we make to have the whole school feel like a family. There's always something to get picked on about. That's just not my cup of tea.

Also today I had to talk to a student about her relationship. Me, talking about relationships. Wow, something I have experience in. Some girls just don't get the difference between controlling and respect. Someone who says you can't do this is controlling, someone who says I am concerned for your safety, don't do this is being respectful. I don't get where a guy telling you what to do is okay. When as women did we say it's okay to let others treat us as second best? I am so thankful I was never taught that, or that I have never believed that? I am looking for someone who will respect me and want the best for me, not what they want me to do or mold me into something they want. If I could wish for one thing for my students, it would be to not believe a single thing a man says, just to watch his actions and believe what the actions are saying to you.